SPORTS SECTION CHAR: Michael Brown
Welcome back to The Loaf! We’re already at Week 3 of the season, which is kind of scary. It goes by so quickly!!
Last week was another mediocre week, but we still maintained our over .500 streak, going 4-3 on the week. Our L’s were Minnesota-Fresno State (UNDER 48.5), UCF-FAU (OVER 68), and LSU-Texas (UNDER 55), thanks to my personal Heisman frontrunner, Joe Burrow. We did pick up dubs with Pitt (-5.5) and Ole Miss (-6.5). I also improved to 2-0 picking against Alabama, this time in the form of New Mexico State (+56), and South Florida-Georgia Tech (UNDER 62) was never in doubt as we cruised to the under.
This week was difficult to pick games. The slate is horrific. The Saturday Night ABC game has a point spread of like four (!!!) touchdowns. I didn’t have a lot of good ideas this week. And I’m not like a lot of people; I don’ t do a ton of research. I pick based off logic, and my mind, what I know, ya know. That said, we’ve never shied away from a challenge on The Loaf, and we won’t be starting this week. I’ve got 6 picks:
First up is Iowa State (+2.5) vs #19 Iowa, and you cannot sit here and convince me Iowa is winning this game. I’ll preface my argument with this: It is very likely that Iowa is the better team in this game. And I don’t care. This is another principle play. It’s a rivalry game. It’s a scrappy, defensive, points-optional, rivalry game. And you’re giving me points with the home team? Brent Musburger said it best, “A home team getting points…what *half-pause* could be better than that?” That’s it. That’s the reasoning. Next. Iowa State 23, Iowa 19
Brock Purdy, proudly referred to by me as “the Tim Tebow of Ames,” will look to have a big game against the rival Hawkeyes this Saturday. Photo Credit: AP
I haven’t yet decided on the Certifiably Official Team of The Loaf in 2019, but I’ll say Louisville is the favorite thus far. Give me Louisville (-9.5) @ Western Kentucky. The Cardinals are going to be undervalued every week, it seems, for the foreseeable future. They aren’t going to be awful like a lot of people think they will be. They’re a pretty good team, I think. And the ‘Toppers aren’t good. They lost to FCS Central Arkansas in week 1!! And you’re telling me they’re gonna keep it within 9.5 against a Louisville team that looked satisfactory against Notre Dame? Nah. Louisville 41, Western Kentucky 21
Louisville’s red chrome helmets are amazing, but this Saturday, look for them to have a big game against Big Red and the Hilltoppers. Photo Credit: Athlon Sports
Next up is Florida (-8.5) vs Kentucky. As is the case with a lot of the picks I make for The Loaf, this has to do more so with the team I’m picking against rather than the team I’m actually picking. Kentucky is really bad and not good. Like, nothing about them has impressed me during their first two games. At all. They look as if they’ve returned from earth after last year’s run to the…Citrus Bowl? (Sorry, I have a strong distaste for Mark Stoops) Anyway, I’m a bit worried about this one because Florida stinks too. Feleipe Franks is hilariously bad, and it’s really hard to watch him play football. That said, Florida is too well-coached and too talented to let this game stay close. Plus, you’d like to think the Gators will be really motivated after they blew their 31-year winning streak against the Cats. Gators big, this time. Florida 34, Kentucky 17
This picture is so cool. It’s from the Peach Bowl last year where Florida ran Michigan out of the stadium. The Gators will do the same to Kentucky on Saturday. Photo Credit: In All Kinds of Weather
We now head to the house that Thomas Jefferson built for #25 Virginia (-7.5) vs Florida State. This one was a layup. Firstly, the Noles are so bad, dude. So bad. The culture there under Willie Taggart is some sort of broken. It’s hard to describe. They certainly don’t lack the talent. But they very clearly lack the coaching, as well as the motivation. None of them want to be there, and it shows in how they’re playing. FSU, coming off a horrific 2018 campaign, opened the season by blowing a huge lead against Boise State and losing on its home turf, and then followed it up by letting Louisiana-Monroe take it to double OT the next week before a missed PAT saved them. It’s a different level of sad, and, frankly, any bet against the Noles is a safe bet at the moment. That said, Virginia is really hecking good too. I’ve been impressed by the Hoos thus far, and for them to now be ranked, and hosting FSU in primetime? Now’s their time to shine. And I think they will. Bryce Perkins is too awesome not to. Virginia 38, Florida State 14
Bryce Perkins is so good. And Virginia is really good too. Hoos, BIG on Saturday. Photo Credit: Virginia Athletics
Our final two picks this week come from the same game. Give me #5 Oklahoma (-23) @ UCLA and the (OVER 69). The total actually opened at 68. I got it at 69, and it’s since risen to 73.5. The people know. Oklahoma = over. Their offense is so, so good. And they’re going to score a lot against a pitiful UCLA team. UCLA will score some, too. Oklahoma’s defense is better, but it still isn’t good. And it’s sure to give up three-to-four touchdowns every week against any competent team. Points will be had in bunches, that’s for sure. Also, Oklahoma is going to win by a lot of those points, too. They are so good, and UCLA is simply a dumpster fire waiting to happen under Chip Kelly, whose seat is hotter than Woodstock in July. After these first two losses, its hard to imagine the Bruins will be very motivated in this game. The Sooners will cruise. Oklahoma 51, UCLA 24
Here he is, folks. Your 2019 Heisman trophy winner. Jalen Hurts. Remember this. Photo Credit: Dallas Morning News
That’s what I’ve got for Week three’s The Loaf! Here’s to an amazing College Football Saturday!
The Wolverine Times 
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